Lose To Win!

On April 9th, 2016 at 10:00am in the morning I was sleeping comfortably until I got a message from my family that altered my world......

On April 9th, 2016 I was confronted with reality when my oldest brother called to tell me about our dad. He spoke in a shaky tone telling me my beloved father was pronounced dead that morning at the hospital. My whole body went numb after hearing this news and I screamed throughout my house. This could not be real for me to fathom, I no longer would be able to see my dad or hear his voice. In some crazy way I thought is was surreal like a dream but, it was not a dream. It was an unexpected nightmare that now haunts me.

My mom was distraught, the man she was married to 42 years was now gone. I grieved for her and my entire family. The only question I wanted to ask myself was "how were we going to move on from this trauma ?". My brothers and I all shared a special bond with my father; he was truly the King of his castle. He taught us how to love unconditionally, live unapologetically and most of all how to have a relationship with the Lord.

The wound is fresh, the tears are new and the pain is relevant in our lives. However, through this abrupt interruption of my dad's departure we continue to carry on his legacy. Losing someone that you love is never easy but bittersweet. Yes, spiritually we know he is with God but we will always miss his physical absence.... his smile, laughter and joy it brought to our lives. After losing my youngest daughter nine years ago and now my dad it has taught me how precious life is now. I am no longer waiting on a special moment to do what I desire or live the life I want. Now, I have an urgency to live life to the fullest, experience every great undertaking and live it on my own terms.

The greatest things that I have won due to my loss of loved ones are courage to live my life on my own terms, do what is best for me, letting go of the need for permission and understanding I do not need validation to be who I am.

In some strange way I feel like this has helped me involve into a better version of me, living life unapologetically!




Picture Reference: Pinterest www.stevemaraboli.com 

Lose To Win!

On April 9th, 2016 at 10:00am in the morning I was sleeping comfortably until I got a message from my family that altered my world......

On April 9th, 2016 I was confronted with reality when my oldest brother called to tell me about our dad. He spoke in a shaky tone telling me my beloved father was pronounced dead that morning at the hospital. My whole body went numb after hearing this news and I screamed throughout my house. This could not be real for me to fathom, I no longer would be able to see my dad or hear his voice. In some crazy way I thought is was surreal like a dream but, it was not a dream. It was an unexpected nightmare that now haunts me.

My mom was distraught, the man she was married to 42 years was now gone. I grieved for her and my entire family. The only question I wanted to ask myself was "how were we going to move on from this trauma ?". My brothers and I all shared a special bond with my father; he was truly the King of his castle. He taught us how to love unconditionally, live unapologetically and most of all how to have a relationship with the Lord.

The wound is fresh, the tears are new and the pain is relevant in our lives. However, through this abrupt interruption of my dad's departure we continue to carry on his legacy. Losing someone that you love is never easy but bittersweet. Yes, spiritually we know he is with God but we will always miss his physical absence.... his smile, laughter and joy it brought to our lives. After losing my youngest daughter nine years ago and now my dad it has taught me how precious life is now. I am no longer waiting on a special moment to do what I desire or live the life I want. Now, I have an urgency to live life to the fullest, experience every great undertaking and live it on my own terms.

The greatest things that I have won due to my loss of loved ones are courage to live my life on my own terms, do what is best for me, letting go of the need for permission and understanding I do not need validation to be who I am.

In some strange way I feel like this has helped me involve into a better version of me, living life unapologetically!




Picture Reference: Pinterest www.stevemaraboli.com 

Age Ain't Nothing But A Number!

Age is not a deadline it is the beginning of a new era! ~Stylicia~

It is funny how we live in a world that gives us a particular age limit to have kids, get married and all the other superfluous stuff. However, I believe putting limits on yourself due to your age can literally handicap your future. I do understand age is important when it comes to the regular things such as driving, drinking and understanding the fundamentals of life. However, we should not put an age on our dreams, success or living the life we desire.

I remember when I told God if I am not married and have another child by 35 then it was a wrap for me. Now at 36 going on 37 I laugh at my ultimatum that I gave God. I realize there is beauty in embracing every stage of your life at every age. I am not married at this point in my life and I definitely don’t desire another child. I never knew that my 30’s was a time for me to explore my authenticity, heal from my past and embrace newness. We live in a society that can sometimes be caught up in the numbers but as we progress America is realizing age is simply a number!

After 36 years of living I realize I can be who I want to be and I can do what I want to do at any age. The only thing that will limit me is my mindset. You can get married at 50, have kids at 42 or go back to school at 60. Age is not the determining factor in your life from succeeding…..your mindset is! When you put a deadline on how much you can accomplish due to your age then you limit your potential. We all have the potential to be great but some of us choose to wait until a certain time to achieve the things we want to do.

Have you ever thought about retiring at 30, 40 or even 50, if so what is stopping you? Absolutely nothing! It is time to get rid of the deadline in your head and start living again, start dreaming and pursuing the life you desire. Yes, it’s true with age comes responsibility and wisdom but also with age comes grace to appreciate life a lot more. I can attest to this because the older I get the more I appreciate life and all it has to offer. If you started to put deadlines in your head I want you to take a step back and erase those pesky things. Watch and see how amazing your life can be if you start to embrace the moment at any age because in reality age ain’t nothing but a number!

Age Ain't Nothing But A Number!

Age is not a deadline it is the beginning of a new era! ~Stylicia~

It is funny how we live in a world that gives us a particular age limit to have kids, get married and all the other superfluous stuff. However, I believe putting limits on yourself due to your age can literally handicap your future. I do understand age is important when it comes to the regular things such as driving, drinking and understanding the fundamentals of life. However, we should not put an age on our dreams, success or living the life we desire.

I remember when I told God if I am not married and have another child by 35 then it was a wrap for me. Now at 36 going on 37 I laugh at my ultimatum that I gave God. I realize there is beauty in embracing every stage of your life at every age. I am not married at this point in my life and I definitely don’t desire another child. I never knew that my 30’s was a time for me to explore my authenticity, heal from my past and embrace newness. We live in a society that can sometimes be caught up in the numbers but as we progress America is realizing age is simply a number!

After 36 years of living I realize I can be who I want to be and I can do what I want to do at any age. The only thing that will limit me is my mindset. You can get married at 50, have kids at 42 or go back to school at 60. Age is not the determining factor in your life from succeeding…..your mindset is! When you put a deadline on how much you can accomplish due to your age then you limit your potential. We all have the potential to be great but some of us choose to wait until a certain time to achieve the things we want to do.

Have you ever thought about retiring at 30, 40 or even 50, if so what is stopping you? Absolutely nothing! It is time to get rid of the deadline in your head and start living again, start dreaming and pursuing the life you desire. Yes, it’s true with age comes responsibility and wisdom but also with age comes grace to appreciate life a lot more. I can attest to this because the older I get the more I appreciate life and all it has to offer. If you started to put deadlines in your head I want you to take a step back and erase those pesky things. Watch and see how amazing your life can be if you start to embrace the moment at any age because in reality age ain’t nothing but a number!

Beauty Has No Face!

In a society where we place a shape, color, size, and name to beauty it has distorted the self-esteem of many women in the world. As I become more of an ambassador for my own personal beauty I realize beauty does not have a specific appearance. Beauty has to be defined on our own terms not by the majority in America. When I think of beauty I began to think of the eclectic style of Erkyah Badu, Solange Knowles and Rihanna . These women have set their own standard of what beauty feels like and look like to them. It feels amazing to go through a journey to find what fits me as a woman because in this journey I am finding my beauty. Many African American girls struggle with the idea that their dark skin, dark hair is not beautiful because they are faced with the idea that pale skin and blue eyes are the ideal beauty. White women struggle with the illusion of being curvy is considered to be fat when curves are the epitome of womanhood, the gratitude of beauty.

Beauty has no name, shape, size, color or texture however it is the hidden secret of what a woman holds inside. When we can tap into our own inner beauty then we can unlock a glow that can radiant externally. I look at women such as Lupita Nygon’o who has been such an inspiration for women of color because she has broken the barriers of what beauty could be if we look beyond the surface. We are raised in a society where it is encouraged to change the way we look to be accepted by the world but God created us in his image; perfect. In the May issue of Essence Magazine Solange Knowles stated, “As women we have the choice of how we want to look and how we want to feel and that’s the beauty of being a woman.” We should not allow society to have a voice on how we look, feel or define our beauty. Many women deal with low self-esteem because what they see in magazines. However, Beyonce Knowles song Pretty Hurts discuss the standards society places on our beauty but we have to be willing to understand beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder. It is time for us to look in the mirror and remove the mask of the wrong self-image of who we are to kindly replace it with an image of how we define beauty. Beauty has no face it is truly established by what we say, see and speak about ourselves. Let us strive to replace our negative views with positive affirmations of our own personal beauty because in the end beauty truly has no face!

Reference:

Essence Magazine May Issue

Picture reference: www.searchquotes.com

Beauty Has No Face!

In a society where we place a shape, color, size, and name to beauty it has distorted the self-esteem of many women in the world. As I become more of an ambassador for my own personal beauty I realize beauty does not have a specific appearance. Beauty has to be defined on our own terms not by the majority in America. When I think of beauty I began to think of the eclectic style of Erkyah Badu, Solange Knowles and Rihanna . These women have set their own standard of what beauty feels like and look like to them. It feels amazing to go through a journey to find what fits me as a woman because in this journey I am finding my beauty. Many African American girls struggle with the idea that their dark skin, dark hair is not beautiful because they are faced with the idea that pale skin and blue eyes are the ideal beauty. White women struggle with the illusion of being curvy is considered to be fat when curves are the epitome of womanhood, the gratitude of beauty.

Beauty has no name, shape, size, color or texture however it is the hidden secret of what a woman holds inside. When we can tap into our own inner beauty then we can unlock a glow that can radiant externally. I look at women such as Lupita Nygon’o who has been such an inspiration for women of color because she has broken the barriers of what beauty could be if we look beyond the surface. We are raised in a society where it is encouraged to change the way we look to be accepted by the world but God created us in his image; perfect. In the May issue of Essence Magazine Solange Knowles stated, “As women we have the choice of how we want to look and how we want to feel and that’s the beauty of being a woman.” We should not allow society to have a voice on how we look, feel or define our beauty. Many women deal with low self-esteem because what they see in magazines. However, Beyonce Knowles song Pretty Hurts discuss the standards society places on our beauty but we have to be willing to understand beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder. It is time for us to look in the mirror and remove the mask of the wrong self-image of who we are to kindly replace it with an image of how we define beauty. Beauty has no face it is truly established by what we say, see and speak about ourselves. Let us strive to replace our negative views with positive affirmations of our own personal beauty because in the end beauty truly has no face!

Reference:

Essence Magazine May Issue

Picture reference: www.searchquotes.com

Rising In Your Queendom

As I grow more into the woman I always wanted to become I realize that being a woman is such a powerful concept. I truly believe we sometimes condense our power to make others feel more adequate but in essence, we are hurting ourselves. When we do not live up to our full potential we diminish the queen we really are on the inside. I realize as I journey through the abyss of my authentic road I cannot diminish the queen qualities I have lying dormant. The queen on the inside of me is raging to be released to the world unadulterated. When I suppress the roaring that brews internally I begin to stifle the queen that needs to rise up. Every woman has the ability to rise up in her queendom but we let our own insecurities, others negative words and societal validation stop the growth of who we are really supposed to become. Recently, I decided to purchase Queen Latifah book Put On Your Crown this book has been a game changer in my life. Her book has open my eyes to what it truly means for me to put on my crown with confidence and wear it boldly. For a very long time in my life I would shy away from the lime light due to my own insecurities and low self-esteem. I walked heavily in the people pleaser spirit making everyone happy while I remained miserable. I constantly put everyone else needs before mines which cause me to be depleted mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. I would give everyone else the diamond status treatment while I treated myself to the cubic zirconium level.

A couple of years ago I was at a breaking point because I got sick and tired of people manipulating me. I knew three years ago in order for me to walk fully into my queendom I was challenged to defy the odds. Rising up in my queendom meant that some people feathers would be ruffled and some people would rotate out of my life. Three years later, I can truly say that this evolution has been worth all the love, peace and joy of finding myself---my authentic self. Queen Latifah book has truly helped me identify  some internal things I need to face in this season of my life. I believe this year is the year for me to rise high and go to another dimension as a woman. I refuse to miss out on living my best life and not maximizing my gifts to their full capacity. When you realize that you were always a diamond you no longer accept that cubic zirconium quality. As you begin to desire more for your life you will connect with the queen on the inside of you. You will begin to rise up and call forth the queen that you were already meant to be. Masterpieces are not just thrown together but they take calculated time to come together; as a queen you are the calculated masterpiece. I charge you every day of your life to bring forth the queen in you and let her rise up boldly. No longer quench the rising of your inner queendom. Rise Queen, Rise!

 

Reference:

Put On Your Crown by Queen Latifah

Photo Credit: Pinterest Images

Rising In Your Queendom

As I grow more into the woman I always wanted to become I realize that being a woman is such a powerful concept. I truly believe we sometimes condense our power to make others feel more adequate but in essence, we are hurting ourselves. When we do not live up to our full potential we diminish the queen we really are on the inside. I realize as I journey through the abyss of my authentic road I cannot diminish the queen qualities I have lying dormant. The queen on the inside of me is raging to be released to the world unadulterated. When I suppress the roaring that brews internally I begin to stifle the queen that needs to rise up. Every woman has the ability to rise up in her queendom but we let our own insecurities, others negative words and societal validation stop the growth of who we are really supposed to become. Recently, I decided to purchase Queen Latifah book Put On Your Crown this book has been a game changer in my life. Her book has open my eyes to what it truly means for me to put on my crown with confidence and wear it boldly. For a very long time in my life I would shy away from the lime light due to my own insecurities and low self-esteem. I walked heavily in the people pleaser spirit making everyone happy while I remained miserable. I constantly put everyone else needs before mines which cause me to be depleted mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. I would give everyone else the diamond status treatment while I treated myself to the cubic zirconium level.

A couple of years ago I was at a breaking point because I got sick and tired of people manipulating me. I knew three years ago in order for me to walk fully into my queendom I was challenged to defy the odds. Rising up in my queendom meant that some people feathers would be ruffled and some people would rotate out of my life. Three years later, I can truly say that this evolution has been worth all the love, peace and joy of finding myself---my authentic self. Queen Latifah book has truly helped me identify  some internal things I need to face in this season of my life. I believe this year is the year for me to rise high and go to another dimension as a woman. I refuse to miss out on living my best life and not maximizing my gifts to their full capacity. When you realize that you were always a diamond you no longer accept that cubic zirconium quality. As you begin to desire more for your life you will connect with the queen on the inside of you. You will begin to rise up and call forth the queen that you were already meant to be. Masterpieces are not just thrown together but they take calculated time to come together; as a queen you are the calculated masterpiece. I charge you every day of your life to bring forth the queen in you and let her rise up boldly. No longer quench the rising of your inner queendom. Rise Queen, Rise!

 

Reference:

Put On Your Crown by Queen Latifah

Photo Credit: Pinterest Images

Dreams Are Meant To Be Lived Out Loud!

Dreams can sometimes be dreams if we never dare to make them an oblique reality. We can talk about what we desire to do but if there is never an action then it becomes words filled with hot air. I often believe people I truly scared to live life fearlessly because what they dream might really come true. I realized for myself the act of thinking bigger and dreaming bigger is motivated by putting action forth and making the dream patterns in my mental thoughts a tangible reality. 

Dreams are only tangible when you can actually see the manifestation of you working hard to make them visible. I can honestly say I am a dreamer and dream to produce many things in my life but last year I wanted to take more time to invest in my dreams. In 2013, I was struck with the reality of realizing how much I do not invest in my gift of writing. I decided to spend time researching writing workshops to take my writing to another dimension. While I spent time researching an "aha" moment hit me, I always wanted to write, live and move to Paris so I needed to attend a writing workshop in Paris. I was excited, motivated and inspired to live my dream to write in Paris. 

I have such a love affair with Paris, I am truly in love with the city of lights. As I began my research I stumbled across different websites but one website intrigued me, Paris Café Writing. Paris Café Writing is a week long workshop conducted by Patricia Tennison. Mrs. Tennison is a renown author, college professor and  writer of the Chicago Tribune. I called Patricia to ask a couple of questions about the workshop after the phone call I decided  to put both of my passions together; my love for writing and my love for Paris. I was going to spend a week in Paris to write.

I am excited about the progression of my decision to move forward with pursuing my dream. This summer I will be attending one of her summer workshops during the week of my 35th birthday to write, to muse and to immerse myself in Paris. Paris has been a long life dream for me and now with courage I am pursuing my heart's desire. In life we often get stuck because we allow fear to hold us back. 

Fear held me captive for several years after my two year old daughter died. Today marks seven years since she left this Earth but the joy in this story is that it changed me to become an authentic woman. I have experienced many things in my life but learning to live life without limits has been my defining moment. So, as I venture off to Paris this summer I challenge you to not only think big or dream big but to make your dreams a reality. Dreams are meant be lived out loud so what are you waiting for....

Photo Credit: Leonid Afremov, painter http://leonidafremov.deviantart.com/art/PARIS-OF-MY-DREAMS-LEONID-AFREMOV-286887332

Dreams Are Meant To Be Lived Out Loud!

Dreams can sometimes be dreams if we never dare to make them an oblique reality. We can talk about what we desire to do but if there is never an action then it becomes words filled with hot air. I often believe people I truly scared to live life fearlessly because what they dream might really come true. I realized for myself the act of thinking bigger and dreaming bigger is motivated by putting action forth and making the dream patterns in my mental thoughts a tangible reality. 

Dreams are only tangible when you can actually see the manifestation of you working hard to make them visible. I can honestly say I am a dreamer and dream to produce many things in my life but last year I wanted to take more time to invest in my dreams. In 2013, I was struck with the reality of realizing how much I do not invest in my gift of writing. I decided to spend time researching writing workshops to take my writing to another dimension. While I spent time researching an "aha" moment hit me, I always wanted to write, live and move to Paris so I needed to attend a writing workshop in Paris. I was excited, motivated and inspired to live my dream to write in Paris. 

I have such a love affair with Paris, I am truly in love with the city of lights. As I began my research I stumbled across different websites but one website intrigued me, Paris Café Writing. Paris Café Writing is a week long workshop conducted by Patricia Tennison. Mrs. Tennison is a renown author, college professor and  writer of the Chicago Tribune. I called Patricia to ask a couple of questions about the workshop after the phone call I decided  to put both of my passions together; my love for writing and my love for Paris. I was going to spend a week in Paris to write.

I am excited about the progression of my decision to move forward with pursuing my dream. This summer I will be attending one of her summer workshops during the week of my 35th birthday to write, to muse and to immerse myself in Paris. Paris has been a long life dream for me and now with courage I am pursuing my heart's desire. In life we often get stuck because we allow fear to hold us back. 

Fear held me captive for several years after my two year old daughter died. Today marks seven years since she left this Earth but the joy in this story is that it changed me to become an authentic woman. I have experienced many things in my life but learning to live life without limits has been my defining moment. So, as I venture off to Paris this summer I challenge you to not only think big or dream big but to make your dreams a reality. Dreams are meant be lived out loud so what are you waiting for....

Photo Credit: Leonid Afremov, painter http://leonidafremov.deviantart.com/art/PARIS-OF-MY-DREAMS-LEONID-AFREMOV-286887332

Fashion Is A Girl's Best Friend!

Marilyn Monroe was famous for stating “Diamonds are a girl best friend!” but I truly believe fashion has become my best friend. I have two storage boxes of fashion magazines from Glamour to Vogue. Ever since I was in high school I would spend endless hours in the library looking at all the fashion magazines. Fashion has a way of telling a story through the way you dress, wear makeup and wear your hair. Fashion can help you create your own signature look effortlessly. As I have become more confident in the fabulous years of my 30s I am realizing the clothes, hair and makeup that create my signature style. I am a firm believer that everyone has a style of their own but many women may not know how to create it. Before you become one with fashion you have to convert to the real you. Many readers who follow my blog know I have discussed my authentic journey; dealing with my issues, building my confidence and getting rid of toxic people in my life. Before I could truly walk into the fullness of who I was I first had to face my issues head on and learn to be okay with my imperfections. Many women hide behind name brand clothes, makeup and hair because they have no concept of who God created them to be. So instead of allowing their makeup, hair and clothes to compliment them they allow these things to define them. If you struggle with finding your fashion niche or that signature style that makes you authentic, follow these tips to allow fashion to become your best friend.  

Tips To Dress Authentically:

Tip #1: Be Authentic. Its ok to get inspiration from someone else style but always make it your own.

Tip #2: Experiment. It is always good to spice up your look in fashion by wearing something bold whether it’s red lipstick, printed paints or a bright colorful shirt. Never be scared to step outside your comfort zone.

Tip #3: Signature Look. Start creating your own signature look whether it is how you wear you hat, makeup or something that simply states who you are. My signature slogan and look for myself is “less is more”. I love to be bold, classy and elusive at the same time.

After taking these steps you should be well on your way to making fashion your best friend.

Fashion Is A Girl's Best Friend!

Marilyn Monroe was famous for stating “Diamonds are a girl best friend!” but I truly believe fashion has become my best friend. I have two storage boxes of fashion magazines from Glamour to Vogue. Ever since I was in high school I would spend endless hours in the library looking at all the fashion magazines. Fashion has a way of telling a story through the way you dress, wear makeup and wear your hair. Fashion can help you create your own signature look effortlessly. As I have become more confident in the fabulous years of my 30s I am realizing the clothes, hair and makeup that create my signature style. I am a firm believer that everyone has a style of their own but many women may not know how to create it. Before you become one with fashion you have to convert to the real you. Many readers who follow my blog know I have discussed my authentic journey; dealing with my issues, building my confidence and getting rid of toxic people in my life. Before I could truly walk into the fullness of who I was I first had to face my issues head on and learn to be okay with my imperfections. Many women hide behind name brand clothes, makeup and hair because they have no concept of who God created them to be. So instead of allowing their makeup, hair and clothes to compliment them they allow these things to define them. If you struggle with finding your fashion niche or that signature style that makes you authentic, follow these tips to allow fashion to become your best friend.  

Tips To Dress Authentically:

Tip #1: Be Authentic. Its ok to get inspiration from someone else style but always make it your own.

Tip #2: Experiment. It is always good to spice up your look in fashion by wearing something bold whether it’s red lipstick, printed paints or a bright colorful shirt. Never be scared to step outside your comfort zone.

Tip #3: Signature Look. Start creating your own signature look whether it is how you wear you hat, makeup or something that simply states who you are. My signature slogan and look for myself is “less is more”. I love to be bold, classy and elusive at the same time.

After taking these steps you should be well on your way to making fashion your best friend.

Hidden Beauty

No longer hiding what is naturally been beautiful about me; my truth to myself.

 ~Stylicia A. Bowden~

 

 

It's official 2013 is now here and as quickly as it was ushered in it will quickly roll pass too. Alot of people have jumped on the New Year's Resolution bandwagon saying "This year will be different". I often ponder wondering what will be different about this new year for me. I choose not to do resolutions but set goals, create a plan and effectively strategize to live the life I deserve. I am tired of speaking things without putting the action behind it so 2013 for me represents "Just Do It" motto coined by Nike. In this phenomenal journey I believe it is also time to unveil hidden parts of me to embrace the authentic self. In every women's life it comes a time where she has to be real with herself because the lies start to drain her energy. When you lie to yourself you set yourself up for disappointment, wreckless behavior and falsifying who you are. It is not appealing to live your life in manipulating yourself and pretending. I have came to the conclusion that being real with me is the only option I deserve because it helps me embrace every aspect of myself. I no longer want to hide my true emotions or accept things that are below my standards. So many women hide their true self in hopes of maintaining false relationships. Sometimes we bargain our happiness to trade it in for lies. I understood how important it was for me to start being real with myself so I can get what I deserve. I got tired of living in my disillusional world and fairytale life. I had to be willing to say what I really desired in my life and what I was allowing to hold me back from love, life and happiness. 2013 is a year for me to live life in no regrets, unveil my hidden beauty and just do it. Whatever your allowing to stop you from living then be honest about it and face it. Stop accepting life as it is and say how you really feel, what you really desire and what is blocking you. The greatest accomplishment in your life is being true to yourself because "honesty is the best policy". Honesty is the only solution to accept who you are to bring forth a natural you. A natural woman is a woman who can say No and mean it & say "I really desire or want this..." "I do not want this or that". This natural woman will not compromise her truth to live a fabricated life because she will never be happy. When she is truthful she will be willing to miss out on some opportunities because she is waiting on the opportunity she desires and will not settle. She choose not to fill the voids in her life with temporary nonsense just to prove to others she has someone or something. Instead she waits patiently in her truth because her truth has set her free. 

Hidden Beauty

No longer hiding what is naturally been beautiful about me; my truth to myself.

 ~Stylicia A. Bowden~

 

 

It's official 2013 is now here and as quickly as it was ushered in it will quickly roll pass too. Alot of people have jumped on the New Year's Resolution bandwagon saying "This year will be different". I often ponder wondering what will be different about this new year for me. I choose not to do resolutions but set goals, create a plan and effectively strategize to live the life I deserve. I am tired of speaking things without putting the action behind it so 2013 for me represents "Just Do It" motto coined by Nike. In this phenomenal journey I believe it is also time to unveil hidden parts of me to embrace the authentic self. In every women's life it comes a time where she has to be real with herself because the lies start to drain her energy. When you lie to yourself you set yourself up for disappointment, wreckless behavior and falsifying who you are. It is not appealing to live your life in manipulating yourself and pretending. I have came to the conclusion that being real with me is the only option I deserve because it helps me embrace every aspect of myself. I no longer want to hide my true emotions or accept things that are below my standards. So many women hide their true self in hopes of maintaining false relationships. Sometimes we bargain our happiness to trade it in for lies. I understood how important it was for me to start being real with myself so I can get what I deserve. I got tired of living in my disillusional world and fairytale life. I had to be willing to say what I really desired in my life and what I was allowing to hold me back from love, life and happiness. 2013 is a year for me to live life in no regrets, unveil my hidden beauty and just do it. Whatever your allowing to stop you from living then be honest about it and face it. Stop accepting life as it is and say how you really feel, what you really desire and what is blocking you. The greatest accomplishment in your life is being true to yourself because "honesty is the best policy". Honesty is the only solution to accept who you are to bring forth a natural you. A natural woman is a woman who can say No and mean it & say "I really desire or want this..." "I do not want this or that". This natural woman will not compromise her truth to live a fabricated life because she will never be happy. When she is truthful she will be willing to miss out on some opportunities because she is waiting on the opportunity she desires and will not settle. She choose not to fill the voids in her life with temporary nonsense just to prove to others she has someone or something. Instead she waits patiently in her truth because her truth has set her free. 

The Individuality Factor: The Nonconformist

Individuality is a beautiful freedom to be totally you.~Stylicia~

In this world we live in being different can sometimes be frowned upon but being an individual carries a lot of freedom yet it also carries a lot of weight. Those who live in a country where conformity is the ideal thing may have a hard time embracing individuality. When I was in the military we all looked alike because we were forced to wear the same uniform. As I begin to spread my wings I realize I was a nonconformist. It was never meant for me to fit in because I embraced my individuality. When you grow up you are never taught that being an individual is powerful. You are taught to do what others tell you to do, be respectful and follow all the rules. Children are never challenged to step outside of their comfort zone and be unique. It is expected for them to go through school make good grades, graduate from high school, go to college and then get married to have kids. However, life is unpredictable and what if they are sidetracked by life unexpected detours, how can they be prepared to stay the course. I believe as parents it is important to teach our kids to be individuals. Let them know its okay not to be in the "popular crowd". It is important to teach them to be who they were created to be. It is such an injustice to not allow children or even ourselves to be the individual that God created us to be. I am challenged everyday to teach my daughter to be an individual and nonconformist. I make sure I actively let her express her individuality in all creative avenues. There is a great amount of freedom with being an individual because it taps into your authenticity. When you are an individual you become a nonconformist. It is a great freedom to be true to who you really are within. 

I would always have issues conforming to things in my military lifestyle because a big part of me wanted to be free. My nine year journey in the military revealed to me that I was such a nonconformist. I believe to some degree I chose to conform to be accepted by the majority. I was never truly happy with being squashed into the status quo of average. When I decided to release myself from the prison of conformity that is when I truly saw my transformation. As I grew from a young lady to a grown woman I truly began to outgrow the box that I was securely placed in those nine years. It was time to break free so I could become the woman God wanted me to be. I was challenged by this new genre of freedom to no longer be meshed with a group of people. I stood out like a widows peak and a part of me wanted to run back to the shelter of belonging but I knew I no longer fit in. It was never meant for me to conform to fit in but it was always meant for me to embrace my individuality and just be true to myself. So many people look for a certain movement to join to feel good about themselves because they are apart of something. But individuality takes courage to defy the odds just to say, "I cannot conform, I will not conform because I am an Authentic Masterpiece". 

Here are a couple of nonconformist I admire (some on this list are deceased but still are iconic):

1) President Barrack Obama

2) Ledisi

3) Mary J. Blige

4) Rihanna

5) Solange Knowles

6) Katy Perry

7) Marilyn Monroe

8) Whitney Houston

9) Bette Davis

10) Britney Spears

11) Lucille Ball

12) First Lady Michelle Obama

13) Jada Pinkett

The list is continuous....  

P.S. Ask Yourself Are You A Conformist or Nonconformist? be honest with yourself.....

The Individuality Factor: The Nonconformist

Individuality is a beautiful freedom to be totally you.~Stylicia~

In this world we live in being different can sometimes be frowned upon but being an individual carries a lot of freedom yet it also carries a lot of weight. Those who live in a country where conformity is the ideal thing may have a hard time embracing individuality. When I was in the military we all looked alike because we were forced to wear the same uniform. As I begin to spread my wings I realize I was a nonconformist. It was never meant for me to fit in because I embraced my individuality. When you grow up you are never taught that being an individual is powerful. You are taught to do what others tell you to do, be respectful and follow all the rules. Children are never challenged to step outside of their comfort zone and be unique. It is expected for them to go through school make good grades, graduate from high school, go to college and then get married to have kids. However, life is unpredictable and what if they are sidetracked by life unexpected detours, how can they be prepared to stay the course. I believe as parents it is important to teach our kids to be individuals. Let them know its okay not to be in the "popular crowd". It is important to teach them to be who they were created to be. It is such an injustice to not allow children or even ourselves to be the individual that God created us to be. I am challenged everyday to teach my daughter to be an individual and nonconformist. I make sure I actively let her express her individuality in all creative avenues. There is a great amount of freedom with being an individual because it taps into your authenticity. When you are an individual you become a nonconformist. It is a great freedom to be true to who you really are within. 

I would always have issues conforming to things in my military lifestyle because a big part of me wanted to be free. My nine year journey in the military revealed to me that I was such a nonconformist. I believe to some degree I chose to conform to be accepted by the majority. I was never truly happy with being squashed into the status quo of average. When I decided to release myself from the prison of conformity that is when I truly saw my transformation. As I grew from a young lady to a grown woman I truly began to outgrow the box that I was securely placed in those nine years. It was time to break free so I could become the woman God wanted me to be. I was challenged by this new genre of freedom to no longer be meshed with a group of people. I stood out like a widows peak and a part of me wanted to run back to the shelter of belonging but I knew I no longer fit in. It was never meant for me to conform to fit in but it was always meant for me to embrace my individuality and just be true to myself. So many people look for a certain movement to join to feel good about themselves because they are apart of something. But individuality takes courage to defy the odds just to say, "I cannot conform, I will not conform because I am an Authentic Masterpiece". 

Here are a couple of nonconformist I admire (some on this list are deceased but still are iconic):

1) President Barrack Obama

2) Ledisi

3) Mary J. Blige

4) Rihanna

5) Solange Knowles

6) Katy Perry

7) Marilyn Monroe

8) Whitney Houston

9) Bette Davis

10) Britney Spears

11) Lucille Ball

12) First Lady Michelle Obama

13) Jada Pinkett

The list is continuous....  

P.S. Ask Yourself Are You A Conformist or Nonconformist? be honest with yourself.....

The Michelle Obama Era

 

It never does us any justice to live below our standards, to hate anyone, to ridicule or tear down someone else character. We live in a world where anything is possible but we first have to deal with our demons and become better women and men. We have to be willing to stop hiding our greatness & let maturity sprout to its full size so we can be effective in this world & not defective. ~Stylicia~

 

 

Everyone has a calling to be great in their life but we sometimes let circumstances, laziness, excuses, and mediocrity take center stage. We carry baggage that eventually affect our relationships especially our sisterhood. As I have grown in this personal journey in my life I realized how important sisterhood is in my womanhood. If we do not deal with our own demons we will handicap or disable another sister from growing to her full potential. I made a decision this year to get to the root of my issues and deal with them up close to repair the damage done in my own heart and life. I made a decision to unleash my own insecurities & setbacks to become a better sister to my sister girls of all shapes, sizes and ethnic backgrounds. I realize it is my duty to be a better woman, to be a whole woman so I can help other women journey into being their authentic self. When you are hurting you cannot be effective in providing help to someone else. It is true hurt people hurt people and it can infect relationships to the core. I have personally experienced in my life sisterhoods growing apart or falling by the wayside because of hidden issues I did not address in my life. However, when you begin to deal with your wounds and face the demons in your closet you can heal. I started to heal when I faced roots that were sprouting from weeds in my own backyard. I tried to help everyone else but I was running from my own emotional baggage. I got sick and tired of being sick and tired when the same issues in my sisterhood were being repeated. I made a decision to be mature enough to deal with me and find out what was the root of my pain, anger, bitterness and often harsh attitude. If we never choose to deal with the root the weeds will continue to sprout in other forms of our lives and then it will have a cyclical effect. We are in an age where women can conquer anything and be whoever they want to be but if we do not face our baggage we will never grow to our full potential. Michelle Obama is a woman I admire because she knows her worth, she has the confidence and boldness to exude her power to change the lives of other people. She uses her power in a profound way to heal, uplift and inspire other women to be powerful effective women. We can learn many things in this era of First Lady Michelle Obama by understanding sisterhood has the power to connect us with your God given purpose. If  we are hurting and need assistance with the healing process maybe we should reach out to people who are qualified for the job such as therapist, psychologist, spiritual leaders etc. When two women are hurting then they cannot be each others strength because it is impossible for two wounded souls to help each other. Since we are now in an age of women evolving, soaring to higher heights we have no excuse not to be great & walk in our God given purpose. Sisterhood is about being whole within yourself so you can help someone else find the path to their authentic self. Let us let go of all the baggage and raise up to the standard of being phenomenal women who can change the world....Let's not forget women of all shapes, sizes and ethnic backgrounds can do anything because we are now living in "The Michelle Obama Era".....Let's move out of our own way!

The Michelle Obama Era

 

It never does us any justice to live below our standards, to hate anyone, to ridicule or tear down someone else character. We live in a world where anything is possible but we first have to deal with our demons and become better women and men. We have to be willing to stop hiding our greatness & let maturity sprout to its full size so we can be effective in this world & not defective. ~Stylicia~

 

 

Everyone has a calling to be great in their life but we sometimes let circumstances, laziness, excuses, and mediocrity take center stage. We carry baggage that eventually affect our relationships especially our sisterhood. As I have grown in this personal journey in my life I realized how important sisterhood is in my womanhood. If we do not deal with our own demons we will handicap or disable another sister from growing to her full potential. I made a decision this year to get to the root of my issues and deal with them up close to repair the damage done in my own heart and life. I made a decision to unleash my own insecurities & setbacks to become a better sister to my sister girls of all shapes, sizes and ethnic backgrounds. I realize it is my duty to be a better woman, to be a whole woman so I can help other women journey into being their authentic self. When you are hurting you cannot be effective in providing help to someone else. It is true hurt people hurt people and it can infect relationships to the core. I have personally experienced in my life sisterhoods growing apart or falling by the wayside because of hidden issues I did not address in my life. However, when you begin to deal with your wounds and face the demons in your closet you can heal. I started to heal when I faced roots that were sprouting from weeds in my own backyard. I tried to help everyone else but I was running from my own emotional baggage. I got sick and tired of being sick and tired when the same issues in my sisterhood were being repeated. I made a decision to be mature enough to deal with me and find out what was the root of my pain, anger, bitterness and often harsh attitude. If we never choose to deal with the root the weeds will continue to sprout in other forms of our lives and then it will have a cyclical effect. We are in an age where women can conquer anything and be whoever they want to be but if we do not face our baggage we will never grow to our full potential. Michelle Obama is a woman I admire because she knows her worth, she has the confidence and boldness to exude her power to change the lives of other people. She uses her power in a profound way to heal, uplift and inspire other women to be powerful effective women. We can learn many things in this era of First Lady Michelle Obama by understanding sisterhood has the power to connect us with your God given purpose. If  we are hurting and need assistance with the healing process maybe we should reach out to people who are qualified for the job such as therapist, psychologist, spiritual leaders etc. When two women are hurting then they cannot be each others strength because it is impossible for two wounded souls to help each other. Since we are now in an age of women evolving, soaring to higher heights we have no excuse not to be great & walk in our God given purpose. Sisterhood is about being whole within yourself so you can help someone else find the path to their authentic self. Let us let go of all the baggage and raise up to the standard of being phenomenal women who can change the world....Let's not forget women of all shapes, sizes and ethnic backgrounds can do anything because we are now living in "The Michelle Obama Era".....Let's move out of our own way!

Go Ahead...Be Simply Fabulous!

A confident woman is a woman who embraces her beauty,

shows her beauty, creates her own style, make no excuses

for her greatness

by ostracizing herself to fit in with other woman.

She is not fearful but fearless.

She teach others how to "own'" their greatness,

She speaks well of her haters & still manages to laugh when

people talk behind her back & laugh in her face because she realizes some

wish they could be her but she only is doing the world justice by walking in her

 God given purpose!

She is the woman who only wishes to create a fabulous life because she is

"Simply Fabulous"!  ~Stylicia~

Go Ahead...Be Simply Fabulous!

A confident woman is a woman who embraces her beauty,

shows her beauty, creates her own style, make no excuses

for her greatness

by ostracizing herself to fit in with other woman.

She is not fearful but fearless.

She teach others how to "own'" their greatness,

She speaks well of her haters & still manages to laugh when

people talk behind her back & laugh in her face because she realizes some

wish they could be her but she only is doing the world justice by walking in her

 God given purpose!

She is the woman who only wishes to create a fabulous life because she is

"Simply Fabulous"!  ~Stylicia~