On April 9th, 2016 I was confronted with reality when my oldest brother called to tell me about our dad. He spoke in a shaky tone telling me my beloved father was pronounced dead that morning at the hospital. My whole body went numb after hearing this news and I screamed throughout my house. This could not be real for me to fathom, I no longer would be able to see my dad or hear his voice. In some crazy way I thought is was surreal like a dream but, it was not a dream. It was an unexpected nightmare that now haunts me.
My mom was distraught, the man she was married to 42 years was now gone. I grieved for her and my entire family. The only question I wanted to ask myself was "how were we going to move on from this trauma ?". My brothers and I all shared a special bond with my father; he was truly the King of his castle. He taught us how to love unconditionally, live unapologetically and most of all how to have a relationship with the Lord.
The wound is fresh, the tears are new and the pain is relevant in our lives. However, through this abrupt interruption of my dad's departure we continue to carry on his legacy. Losing someone that you love is never easy but bittersweet. Yes, spiritually we know he is with God but we will always miss his physical absence.... his smile, laughter and joy it brought to our lives. After losing my youngest daughter nine years ago and now my dad it has taught me how precious life is now. I am no longer waiting on a special moment to do what I desire or live the life I want. Now, I have an urgency to live life to the fullest, experience every great undertaking and live it on my own terms.
The greatest things that I have won due to my loss of loved ones are courage to live my life on my own terms, do what is best for me, letting go of the need for permission and understanding I do not need validation to be who I am.
In some strange way I feel like this has helped me involve into a better version of me, living life unapologetically!
Picture Reference: Pinterest www.stevemaraboli.com