Saturday, October 12, 2013

The One Day That Changed My Life: My Rebirth!

 
"I dance, I smile & live fearlessly because I know what it feels like to die on the inside I only want to live authentically being me." ~Stylicia~

I believe it is a crime to never acknowledge your greatness and never share it with the world. I use to be the kind of girl that was scared to shout on the rooftop about my accomplishments until I realize someone else needs my inspiration, testimonies and story. I love life and live it abundantly because in my life I had too many tragedies impact me especially on February 20, 2007 when my two year old daughter left this world. My children are my joy and to lose a child is like a stab in the heart; painful and sometimes you wonder is recovery possible. After my oldest daughter and I had to endure the pain of losing my sweet two year old daughter, Serenity T. Bowden we somehow had to pick up the pieces. The hardest part in my life was picking up the pieces acting as if life goes on but for me it stopped and nothing remained the same. I was no longer the person everyone wanted me to be but I was bitter, angry and hurt. However, with my strong faith in the Lord he utilized this pain to turn it into a purpose bigger than me. I was a writer since I was eight years old but my gift, passion came full circle when I got stationed in South Carolina five years ago when I was still in the U.S. Navy. The tragedy of losing an angel gave me the courage to share my pain through the written word. I expressed my pain, triumphs and healing through the gift of words which became my source of healing. Every time I released the pen it reminded me of my dreams and sharing them with my family when I was young speaking of being a great famous writer. After exiting the military in 2008 I was broken with open wounds still needing some repair. I had a void but nothing to fill it but my will to write and overcome the pain. In 2011, a four year relationship ended with a man I fell in love with but little did I know it was the beginning of finding my authentic self. I took two years to face the real me by coping with internal issues and stopping the insanity in my life. Some chains needed to be broken but others around me realized I was changing no longer being the people pleaser and control freak. I lost some friendships in the process but I can truly say I am so glad I stayed true to myself, walking boldly in my truth. Today, I live bold, loud and authentically without societal validation celebrating who I am. This moment that happen six years ago changed the way I view and live life. My youngest daughter time on this Earth affected so many people. My oldest daughter and I keep Serenity's memory alive by not taking life for granted. I always have to live with the pain of losing a child but I have a choice to let this pain stop me or motivate me to keep going to share my gift with the world. I choose to let this pain fuel me to share my gift and passion to inspire humanity. My plate is large but God has given me all the tools I need to motivate & inspire those that are put in my path. So, I continue to release the pen so healing can begin.....This was the result of the rebirth of me!